


A Green Lean Love-Meddling Machine

by felisblanco



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-08
Updated: 2005-08-08
Packaged: 2018-10-20 02:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10653447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: Lorne and Spike share a drink and talk about their feelings toward a certain broody vampire.





	A Green Lean Love-Meddling Machine

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this won't get any better. I promised [](http://miss-c667.livejournal.com/profile)[**miss_c667**](http://miss-c667.livejournal.com/) a little something for her birthday which was a month ago today. Erm... yesterday. Damn, it's past midnight. *frowns* Anyway, she asked for Spangel, a sword and a connection to TGIQ. Instead she gets Lorne and Spike, sharing a drink. *headdesk* It's just a short little thing but she does have a certain fondness for the green bean so I hope she'll like this if she ever comes back. *misses her*
> 
> Angel S5. Spike, Lorne. Only friendship because according to [](http://miss-c667.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://miss-c667.livejournal.com/)**miss_c667** Lorne should never have sex ever. *g*
> 
>  

Lorne accepted the glass and took a careful sip, sighing happily at the perfect taste before he turned to the man beside him. “So, handsome, care to tell little old Lorne why you’re really here? Because for some reason I doubt it’s this fabulous Sea Breeze you’re after.”

Spike eyed the blue drink before taking a big gulp from his own amber liquid. “Can’t a bloke have a drink without…?” He put down the glass. “Ok, I need you to make Angel sing.”

Lorne almost choked on his drink. “Sweetie, why on earth would you want that? Have you really not heard him?”

Spike shuddered. “God, yes. Which is why I’ll be in a decent pub on the other side of town while you do your mojo. Then when you’ve read what the bloody hell is going on in his broody brain you come and tell me because I’m going bonkers.” He downed the rest of his drink. “All right? Thanks.”

He only managed two steps before a green hand gripped his arm and pulled him back.

“Oh no, you don’t. Sit down and tell Uncle Lorne what’s going on. Drinks on me this time.” He signalled the bartender who nodded and poured generously into Spike’s glass.

Spike shook his head. “Got places to go, Greenie. Demons to kill. Not really got time for this.”

“Make time.” The whiskey was thrust into his hand. “Spill.”

“No really, I…” He took another look at Lorne and sighed. “He keeps watching me, all right? It’s… creepy. I want to know if he has some staking planned because if so I’d rather be prepared.”

“Hmmm…” Lorne frowned. “What kind of staking were you thinking of?”

“What do you mean what kind of…?” Spike’s eyes widened. “Oh, don’t even joke about that!”

“Who said anything about joking? And you’re right, decent preparation is essential.” Lorne winked and sipped his drink.

“I didn’t mean prepared that way! You… We’re not… He isn’t…” Spike looked around in panic, then leaned forward, hissing, “We don’t do that anymore!”

Lorne smiled, thoroughly enjoying his flustering. “Maybe you don’t, sweetcakes. Doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it.”

Spike gave him an incredulous look. “He bloody well hates me! He keeps telling me to go away! He calls me an idiot, useless, a sodding waste of space.”

He couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice and Lorne gave him a sympathetic look. “If he were ten he’d probably be pulling your pretty pigtails.” He ignored Spike’s glare. “Angel isn’t exactly Katie crazed Tom Cruise, as you very well know. But if he does have those feelings that you are sure he doesn’t have, I’d bet a horn or two that he’d try to suppress them by telling himself, and you, quite the opposite.”

Spike mulled this over. It didn’t make much sense to him but then again Angel was a total tosser. “So, what you’re saying, is that he’s being a stupid ponce because he’s tired of wanking and would rather have a real shag?”

Lorne frowned. “I have no idea what you said right now but… if it meant he wants to play plumber, then maybe.” When he saw the look on Spike’s face he added quickly, “Then again he might just be planning to kill you.”

Spike’s face went blank. “Yeah. Probably.” He stared down into his glass. “Well, it would at least be something.”

“If he killed you?” Lorne shook his head. “Vampires. Crazy the lot of you.”

“Obviously you never met Dru.” Spike laughed softly. “Her insanity is… was exquisite.”

Lorne patted his arm in sympathy. “Oh, she’s still around somewhere, pumpkin. Don’t you worry about her. One night you’ll turn around and there she’ll be.”

“Draining a prostitute with a smile on her face?” Spike shook his head. “Don’t think we’d be such a great match anymore. She wants her men fun and evil. I’m… not that anymore.”

“Not her kind of fun, no. Probably not.” Lorne patted his arm. “Anyway, even if I did read him I couldn’t tell you, you know that. I might kiss and tell but my readings are strictly confidential.”

Spike pouted. “I forgot about that.”

“Why don’t you just confront him? Tell him to…”

“Either bugger off or bugger me?”

Lorne sighed. “Again with the ‘Huh?’ Look, just ask him what’s on his mind. He’ll probably not tell you but his reaction might.”

“Yeah. Right.” Spike finished the drink and stood up. “Thanks. I think.”

Lorne swung round on the high chair. “Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s on _your_ mind?”

He stood still for a moment. “Definitely bugger. I’m just not sure which one.”

Lorne watched him as he walked out, deep in thought, hands stuffed into his pockets. That was one troubled vampire. Ah well, he’d figure it out. He was just happy he talked him out of making Angel sing again. The lust-oozing wailing last night had been quite enough.

If Angel had taken any of his advice to heart Spike would indeed be staked good and proper tonight. **With** decent preparation.

fin

 


End file.
